Today was awesome because I got to talk to my friend Sarah, and even though I have never met her and i don't get to talk to her often I feel like we are very close! Sarah has a daughter with Pffd, who is now 3. We both have the same doctor, and her daughter has gotten all the procedures Rory will have to get.
Talking to her is always wonderful- its always very relaxed as if we talked yesterday. She told me about what to expect when we go to Florida Thursday. She told me a little about the first surgery.
It's completely therapeutic to talk to her because she knows exactly what I'm going through. She knows the guilt, the pain, the worry. She knows what it's like to have people stare at your kid funny, stare at you funny, and have random people come up to you and ask you why your baby is in platform shoes. She knows what it's like to feel like you somehow did this to your baby and how it's your fault. She know the financial issues in making sure your baby goes to the best doctor in the world who has come up with many of the procedures for fixing our babies. And it's so comforting to know there is someone else out there that feels, or has felt, the way I do.
I told her how obviously people in Virginia know about this by looking at her shoe, but people back home have no idea- because I haven't told any of them. I don't have one reason to not tell them I just don't. I don't want anyone looking at her differently or talking behind our backs. I don't want fake sympathy from phony people. I want Rory to get any special treatment from anyone (but me :). But lately I think it may be time to talk about it to people back home. Apparently all the feelings I have are somewhat normal of Pffd parents. It's nice knowing your not alone.
Talking to her was wonderful- I wish she lived closer. We didn't get to talk long because Rory woke up from a nap and she has to help with therapy, but I will probably call her tomorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment