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Monday, October 31, 2011

We made these ghost feet for Mimi, Papa and our aunts and cousins back home.  We were really excited to give them to daddy this morning!  Although they were fun to make they were extremely messy- our driveway currently has my feet painted on it!  The ghosts are adorable though!
Happy Halloween!

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Our day began dark and early at 3:15am. I woke up and felt like complete poop- i thought i was going to vomit. I wasn't sure if I was really sick or just nervous. I figured there's no turning back so I got up and started the day.

sleepy girl at 4am
Jon and I got things ready to go- last minute stuff like taking the trash out and unplugging everything. We planned on leaving the house by 4:15-4:20 at the latest- our flight was at 6 but we were dropping the dogs off at a friends house first and he was going to drive us to the airport. We got the car ready complete with luggage and dogs, got Rory up about 4:15 and were out the door.
Rory was up and didn't feel like going back to sleep- why would she, there was a dog in the car with us! She kept playing peek a boo with her blanket- it was quite exciting for her and I let her stay up hoping she would snooze on the plane. We are almost to the highway when she begins signing milk.
Milk- yes that white stuff in the fridge!
We turn around and grab the milk- drop off dogs and get to the airport. She's still awake too. We got her out of Jammie's and get her dressed ready for the flight.
Then I hear my name and I look over And see my friend Laura! Who would have thought I'd see a friend on a Thursday on the same flight....

who knew plane rides were so much fun
It was so nice to see her and also a huge distraction for me and for Rory!. We talked the whole flight and our gates for the next flight were right next to each other so we sipped Starbucks and just had a nice conversation!
It was time to board the second flight and we moved over for family boarding when special surprise #2 happened: we saw another girl who had an external fixator on her leg, which is what Rory is going to get!
It's funny when i saw them because I didn't want to go say something but we saw her mouth "shoe lift" to her parents so we knew something was up. The girl was adorable too- a beautiful teenage who kind of reminded me of my younger sister. Not going to lie- seeing her put tears in my eyes- its strange how your kind of feel "connected" to s person without even knowing them. I thought of Rory with a fixator and got even more teary.
When she passed us up for special boarding her dad asked us if we were going to see a doctor in west palm and I replied that we were one of Paley's kids. It was really nice. The whole flight I thought about how to approach the without being a creepy nosy lady. I didn't have a lot of time to think because Rory only took a 20 min nap.
After the flight we talked- Rory started waving and blowing kisses to the girl as if she knew something was special about her. the girl has been seeing Dr.Paley since she was 3 and assured me that Rory would be ok.
It was so nice to talk to her- it looked like the girl was getting emotional talking to us so I didn't want to make her feel bad or embarrassed in the middle of the airport, because she was starting to cry, so I asked if her family wanted to do coffee but they were leaving during Rory's appointment. I do hope our paths cross again though.
We went to the two story target to buy food- Rory still didn't nap so I thought we could keep her up a little longer so she could take a nice long 2 plus hour nap while we scrambled to buy applesauce packets and milk.
first tv experience

she now knows what the remote is for
We got to the hotel and drug everything in.  Rory's first real experience with a TV was just as wonderful as she had imagined!  She loved watching it and relaxing with daddy while mommy unpacked.   I tried to get Rory down- it wasn't going to happen, so I kicked daddy out to go for a run and I put my special girl to bed. Daddy came back a few minutes after she went down so there was time for me to go on a short run- i ran 30 min, came back and she was up....she got maybe a 40 min nap in!

That night Dr.Paley was having a Halloween party for some of the his kids. We dressed Rory up in her sweet duck costume and went to party- Rory was of course he cutest thing anyone had ever seen! She was getting her picture taken left and right and everyone wanted to talk to her! It was so good for us to see other Pffd/cfd kids to- its so reassuring to know that these kids are doing so well and that we are in good hands with Dr.Paley. The duck costume was a success but not only did she leave feathers everywhere but she also got so hot and we had to take her out of it and give her tons of water.

I talked to one mom whose little girl had a lengthening a few months ago. She told me all about the surgery Rory will have next year and how that one is not that bad, but the lengthening surgery is very hard. She said the first week after was the worst/ her daughter was screaming in pain and her and her husband were wondering if they had even done the right thing. After the first week it apparently gets better. The lady was so nice and we plan on staying in contact. It is just so hard tithing about all this happening to Rory.

While I was talking to the lady I heard Jon go "oh my gosh" and I looked over and saw my mom and dad. Apparently they were going to Marco island Florida and on heir vacation decided to drive across Florida to come see us for the night. Do I have the best parents or what..??!! He best thing: Rory went to them, no hesitation! We partied for a bit longer then picked up some burgers and went back to he hotel. We ate and of course watched the cardinals in game 6 of the world series.
Rory was in such good form- she was sweet and loving and let mom and dad play with her for the night- it was good for her and SO good for me and Jon!
We were all getting tired so mom and dad went to their hotel room and I tried to put Rory to bed since she was still up and wild at 8:30- before mom and dad left Rory gave mom a kiss- it was so sweet having slept only an hour a day I thought shed to down easy and sleep through the night.
Sometimes mommy is an optimist :)
She woke up every two hours- I felt like she was a new born again in the pack and play by my Bed waking up at all hours of the night. She even woke up normal time at 7!!!
We met mom and dad for breakfast which was wonderful. They had a little Halloween bag for her filled with treats that she loves. She was so good for them during breakfast- normal Rory was on vacation and sweet Rory was there and showing off for mom doing her signs and yoga and somersaults. Her appointment was at 10:15- during nap time so we were already down to one nap a day, and I prayed she napped more than an hour. Mom and dad took Rory while we got everything ready for the appointment- It was amazing how fast we got ready without Rory being crazy. I was going to go and check to see how they were doing but I figured hey were doing fine and if Rory saw me she would just want me, so I stayed in the room and enjoyed my 5 minutes of non aurora silence.
I wish mom and dad would have gone to the appointment with is but they decided not to- it was their vacation so they should be able to go to their beach for a few days ;). It was so nice having them there- they have no idea how wonderful it was to have them there and how much it put me at ease- I was so happy they were there I didn't even think about her appointment or anything- I was just so excited to see them. Jon said having Rory play with mom was a mini vacation for him too!
After getting choked up when I said goodbye we headed off to Dr Paley's office.
on our way to the doctor

 The nerves began.
At the waiting room

We began with x rays- they had Jon hold her down with the x ray tech and I had to stand in the other room- probably a good idea- I don't work well with Rory screaming. We then met with the nurse practitioner who looked a little bit at her X-rays to report to Dr Paley. He took some measurements and at first told us her discrepancy was going to be larger than we had thought but then said he'd let Dr Paley look at it.
her birthday card on the bulletin board!

Dr Paley looked at her x rays and decided she didn't need the ct scan!!! Apparently her little leg is trying to grow and her discrepancy is getting smaller- the little leg is now only going to be 10 inches smaller rather than 12! She does need a new shoe lift for 5 cm rather than her current 3.5- so mommy gets to go shoe shopping! She may need an ankle brace since the shoe lift will be so tall, but we are going to wait and see how she does. We will also have to call at 18 months to get another centimeter added to her lift. However Dr Paley said we probably wouldn't need to come back at 18 months and can just send x rays.
We will have to come back September 2012 for surgery. He looked at her hip and it is sitting quite lower on the right side and at a sharp 90 degree angle. They are going to cut the bone in half and rotate the top of the hip bone so it is at the same angle as the other hip bone. This will also add 1 cm of length to her leg. While he is in there he is going to snip the muscles to make them more agile for the lengthening surgery. He is going to take the tensor fascia latte and going to split it creating new ligaments for her hip and for her knee. Currently her knee isn't looking too bad so now they are unsure if she will need the super knee surgical procedure done. They will know more about that when we go into pre-op next year.

The surgery is a quick recovery so we will only be down there for 3 weeks. It will be nice not having to go back in 18 months- so we are hoping her X-rays look good then- the older she gets the more you can tell about the leg, so if he sees something out of the ordinary in the X-rays we send down at 18 mos then we could have to go down for an MRI.
Appointment done.
exhausted from the doctor appointment!
We went back to the hotel and got crazy down for a nap around 1 and we took turns working out. She slept for 2 hours, thank God, so we hoped she wouldn't be too out of sorts at night.
We showered up and got the best Indian food ever to go at Indus restaurant, and went back to the hotel to feed Rory. She had some cheese and yogurt and everything else we bought her at target to finish. Things were good until I saw the look in her face- vomit.
no shoes after her nap in her pretty dress from aunt Lauren...pre-vomit

Rory has the nervous/ overwhelmed vomits! I ran over to her and puke flew out of her smelling the whole hotel and my clothes. Jon cleaned he floor- I cleaned my girl. Poor thing- it is so awful seeing her feel like this- it breaks my heart. After the puke she was fine- she sat with me and we drank some juice and she was up and wild as ever. Poor bug.
Rory loves watching videos of herself on my phone so we snuggled and watched he same 1 minute videos of her dancing, eating, signing, and doing yoga. She loved it.
We laid in bed with her trying to calm her down and sleep and she finally went to bed about 8. Jon and I could have gone down too but we wanted to watch a bit of the cardinals game. I looked at shoes for her and we laid in bed exhausted from lack of sleep, lack of vegetables and just complete exhaustion.
She did ok through out that night- only woke up about 4 times- but did wake at6:30. I woke up with a strange rash on my arm. I used the soap in the hotel and apparently the colored ink on my tattoo is still sensitive even though i have had it for 6 months or so, and it is now all bubbled up and itches like crazy. It really sucked!
We got hotel breakfast and went back to the room and all she wanted was for me to hold her- if I set her down she screamed. Daddy had to take her on a few walks because she was so crazy!
We get to the airport an believe it or not our flight is delayed- Murphy's law still follows me around where ever I go! We left at 12:05- we were going to Tampa and we were all tired. W got on the plane, I changed Rory's diaper and put it in the pocket in front of me on the plane, powered off my phone and put it with the diaper and then held Rory as she fell asleep the whole flight. W arrived in Tampa about 1:05 and our connecting flight was at 1:20, so I just rushed off the plane and went into our boarding line.
While I was standing the b group was lined up and the couple across from me said "look at that babies shoe, it's so big". And his wife replied, " what big shoe, oh that babies big shoe.". I turned around and gave them the meanest look I could and was so tempted to remove the "big shoe" and beat them both with it but i knew the flight was boarding so id have to put the violence off for another date and time.
I did however have tears in my eyes while I was finding our seats. I don't think I will ever get used to people saying things about my daughter. We finally took off and were in the air when Jon decides he wants to get his phone out- phone....shit
My phone was still in the Tampa plane!!!
Murphy's law strikes again! We made it home safe and less and still with an itchy rash, but safe....I am currently phone less but will being using Rory's phone soon.

It's good to be home.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Today we were trying to get ready for the trip but had several issues.  The day began wonderfuly with my dear friend and her beautiful daughter coming over for a play date.  the girls played so well together it was really sweet.   Its so nice having a relaxing play date where the girls play well...

She went down for a brief nap and then woke up screaming.  I wasn't sure what was wrong but i knew something was wrong.  She kept wanting me to hold her, then would tug away like she wanted me to put her down, then when i put her down she screamed....same with food, she kept signing she wanted to eat, then when id put her in her booster seat she would freak bueano....

this happened for a while and i felt like such a bad mommy because i just let her walk aroudn and do whtever seh wanted because she was screaming so much!  I gave her some tylonel and she felt better....

but then she had to get her second flu shot :(  i hate shots!

Then we went for a few minutes to little gym because we really missed our friends!  But she was screaming about the car seat...she hates the car seat so much i almost dont want to drive her anywhere!

At last a nap...for 30 min....

daddy came home at a reasonable time today so that was nice and it was fun to play with him...she wasn't as fussy but i could tell her teeth were bothering her...

I have her stuff in a box ready to "review" before i pack it stuff is not packed and nothing else is ready....on the plus side....we were so busy i haven't been able to freak out about things today :)...

Monday, October 24, 2011

Today was awesome because I got to talk to my friend Sarah, and even though I have never met her and i don't get to talk to her often I feel like we are very close! Sarah has a daughter with Pffd, who is now 3. We both have the same doctor, and her daughter has gotten all the procedures Rory will have to get.
Talking to her is always wonderful- its always very relaxed as if we talked yesterday. She told me about what to expect when we go to Florida Thursday. She told me a little about the first surgery.
It's completely therapeutic to talk to her because she knows exactly what I'm going through. She knows the guilt, the pain, the worry. She knows what it's like to have people stare at your kid funny, stare at you funny, and have random people come up to you and ask you why your baby is in platform shoes. She knows what it's like to feel like you somehow did this to your baby and how it's your fault. She know the financial issues in making sure your baby goes to the best doctor in the world who has come up with many of the procedures for fixing our babies. And it's so comforting to know there is someone else out there that feels, or has felt, the way I do.
I told her how obviously people in Virginia know about this by looking at her shoe, but people back home have no idea- because I haven't told any of them. I don't have one reason to not tell them I just don't. I don't want anyone looking at her differently or talking behind our backs. I don't want fake sympathy from phony people. I want Rory to get any special treatment from anyone (but me :). But lately I think it may be time to talk about it to people back home. Apparently all the feelings I have are somewhat normal of Pffd parents. It's nice knowing your not alone.
Talking to her was wonderful- I wish she lived closer. We didn't get to talk long because Rory woke up from a nap and she has to help with therapy, but I will probably call her tomorrow.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Looks like another sleepless night. As Rorys dr appointment gets closer I find the night time brings almost anything but sleep. Now I'm just drowning in a sea of sadness and worry. I'm dwelling on this little leg and what is to come medically in our future. It has my stomach in knots and my heart in tears. It's just sad to think of lengthening my baby's leg- for her to be in surgeries. I need to sleep-I need to take one day at a time and not dwell on the future, but it's so hard.

Today rory tried to put on my shoes- it was the sweetest thing I had ever seen! When I found out Rory had cdf I was pretty upset (duh) and one thing I though of was not being able to play dress up in mommys shoes. I remember loving to play dress up in my moms big brown boots as a kid (actually they weren't big, they were just normal brown boots but as a kid they were amazing!). I love shoes too, and for some reason it was just sad for me to think of her never being able to play in mommys shiny black pumps.
Yet again, rory has proven there is nothing she can't do! She was wearin her own shoes and tried to put my shoes on!!! (and not heels, my flats!). I took pictures of course and got tears in my eyes- it was everything I had hoped for!

The best, was seeing how proud she was when she did it! I love you roro!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Today is therapy day which means Rory is allowed without her shoes for an hour. It's the worst hour for me too- she walks very well without her shoes, as good if not better than most 13 month olds, but she falls alot because she gets so excited and starts to run and trips over herself.
It's so hard to watch. I'm not sure howim going to handle everything in our medical futurewhen I get so choked up seeing her walk with her leg! It's really hard for me, and I don't see it getting any easier in the future.

Today she did well with hardly any falls at all. The muscles in her right leg are massive and she has calves of steel since she's constantly pointing her toe. Everything is looking good, her leg is not hindering her development at all and her therapist is amazed at how many signs she knows. Of course rory has to show off a bit and dance for her!

Less than a week till fla...
Today is therapy day which means Rory is allowed without her shoes for an hour. It's the worst hour for me too- she walks very well without her shoes, as good if not better than most 13 month olds, but she falls alot because she gets so excited and starts to run and trips over herself.
It's so hard to watch. I'm not sure howim going to handle everything in our medical futurewhen I get so choked up seeing her walk with her leg! It's really hard for me, and I don't see it getting any easier in the future.

Today she did well with hardly any falls at all. The muscles in her right leg are massive and she has calves of steel since she's constantly pointing her toe. Everything is looking good, her leg is not hindering her development at all and her therapist is amazed at how many signs she knows. Of course rory has to show off a bit and dance for her!

Less than a week before fla...
So today i got up at 5 am to work out, actually i got up with Jon at 4:30 but i didn't start working out until 5.  I was actually excited last night because i had a whole hour to push myself.  However, i woke up and it was really quite chilly and all i wanted to do was drink a cup of hot chocolate (preferably real hot chocolate made with my Rory's whole milk rather than my normal diet 25 calorie hot chocolate made with water, and my beachbumandbaby mamma gave me some sbux hot coco to try) and watch some junk on hulu.  I always feel so bad about myself and so guilty if i don't work out so i made Jon some coffee and a lunch and went up stairs.
I think i would have burnt more calories drinking the hot chocolate....hahaha!  I did 20 min of arms, legs and abs, then 40 min of circuits- basically 60 seconds of a work out, 10 workouts, 4 times.  I did it and i was sweating and even opened the window upstairs but my energy was gone, it was sloth-like.  

here was my circuits
1. low jack squats- jumping of course
2. plank knee In's with a push up
3. tow touches
4. burpees
5. plank push ups
6. crunches
7. one leg jumping squats
8. push up- jacks
9. oblique crunches on the bosu
10. stand up

i still feel like i didn't do anything at all- I probably should have pushed my lazy butt to work harder but i needed to clean the house before the therapist got here!  I may try to work out a bit later....

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Today was another fun day with Rory, although she sometimes makes me feel like I'm losing my mind, its days like today that make me feel normal.  One of our fun activities was playing with an old container that had peppercorns in it.  She would sign for help for me to open it, we would smell it, and then make stinky faces for it.  It was fun, and I knew she had fun because it took a whole 15 min!  
smelling the pepper

stinky pepper!

Rory's doctor's appointment is next Thursday, its officially a week away.  I hopefully will be blogging more until then and after the appointment.  CFD is so rare that there is not alot of moms out there who know some of the feelings I am currently having, I am thankful that this condition is not more popular, but at the same time wish I could communicate to another mom who knows the feelings I am having.  Guess what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Tomorrow daddy is leaving at 5 am so we are planning a killer workout: frequency push ups, squats, lunges, push ups, and of course abs abs abs.  We are hoping to work out for at least an hour and then clean the house before Rory gets up.  She has her Therapy appointment with the wonderful Wendy at 11:15 and then the sky is the limit.  

Thank you Aurora for being such a wonderful daughter....thank you for going easy on me today ;)

Thursday, October 6, 2011

It all began when my husband informed me that his dada d step mom were going to come visit over labor day.  For some reason my husband who can a myriad of surgeries on any species of animal did not think that labor day was in the beginning of September and even more importantly the weekend before the party!!!  I didn't get to work on party stuff for a whole weekend- I felt delayed and overwhelmed....not to mention stressed!  Whenever Rory gets overwhelmed she throws up too and I swear a poltergeist came out of her when my in laws were in town. Having a baby get sick is such a helpless feeling because she's not able to tell me what's going on inside that little body- 

They left Tuesday morning so we had our normal mommy and Rory time. She was so happy being back on her routine! She's such a good girl adapting so well to changes- but ultimately just loving her schedule...and mommy likes the schedule too! 

On Wednesday we did our normal routine up until the night. Jon got a call from work saying he had a military working dog emergency-I figured he did, I saw it was his assistant that called and they frequently call him at all hours of the day, so I thought nothing of it!  I went ahead and laid in bed and worked on party stuff waiting for him to come home later in the night.  He ended up coming home an hour or so later, he came in the room and told me he had a surprise fir me out in the living room. I assumed it was a cat doing something stupid or all squirmed up in some strange contorted position, but I went out because often times it's worth the trip to see what these felines can do. I was not expecting to see my older sister standing there waving!!!

It was awesome!  She came in for Rory's birthday!!!  It was the best present ever!  We had pizza and beer and talked till about 1am. Jon was so nice and slept o. The couch so we could have the bedroom,  where we laid down only to talk a few hours more.  It was the longest I've stayed up since Rory was born, but well worth it!

The next day Rory woke up and was so excited to see aunt Lauren!  She didn't hesitate at all to go to her at all!  It was as if she sees Lauren every day!  We spent the next day going to little gym and making a few trips to get last minuet party supplies!  

The next day mom and dad were coming in but not till 10pm.  Once again we made last minute trips to the store for random things- then I got a fabulous idea to make Jon a shirt special for Rory's birthday.  I got the shirt because I knew I had iron on transfers at home.  

We got home made pretzels dipped in chocolate, cheesecake bites, peanut butter fudge and then it was time for Jon's shirt.  T turned out I didn't have the iron on transfers- just he beautiful package they were in.  I had to make yet again another trip to ac Moore and this time bought shirts for mom and dad too.  I figured I could squeeze a few more shirts in because Rory had a nice long afternoon nap ahead of us....or did she...

Rory was so excited to spend the day with aunt Lauren that she chose to nap maybe 15 min!  I got the shirts barely done- I let her fuss in her crib for a good 10 min in hopes that she would go down- but she never went down.  
I still had a lot of party stuff to get done- just the little decorating odds and ends but it all added up, and I would at least get some done when Jon came home.  But Jon called and had to remove a spleen...looks like I needed to pray for extra hours in the day!  Some how we managed to get cupcakes made and I got to making Rory's cake.  Rory had to have a special cake, I actually tried several recipes before the party because i was dealthy afraid of giving her too much sugar and having her act like a teenager on jolt cola.  I finally found one she seemed to like, it was a peanut butter and banana cake (and I swear it helped me do well on my mud run) with cream cheese frosting.  She liked it and oddly enough Jon and I thought it was mighty tasty too!

Jon finally came home and was complete exhausted-  I knew he had to be, being on his feet all day and having an emergency surgey to finish things off.  I had a few hours before I had to pick up my parents at the airport, so e put fussy pants down for bed ate desert and then went to the airport. 
It was so good to see them and of course we stayed up late eating chops and drinking beer- although I refrained from the beer.  We knew we had to get in a good night sleep because tomorrow was beach day!

It was awesome waking Rory up in the morning! We snuck up to mom and dads room to wake them up- she was alarmed at the inflatable mattress upstairs the most!  She took so well to mom and dad though, and before we knew if they were all 3 playing on the floor like old friends.

We had a great time at the beach!  We swam and went boogie boarding- it was wonderful.  

We wanted to do one if our grill nights for mom and dad so Jon went to the store when we got back.  We had a great grill night, had Irish cream cheesecake, and got to skype Trish and Shannon.  That was so sweet- they wanted to give Rory her present early so we decided to let her open it.  It was neat seeing Shannys face on skype because you could see she was so excited about the present she got for Rory.  It was the sweetest gift ever- Shan gave Rory her baby- kind of!  This baby is so well loved!  She has a crazy haircut and pen makes all over her body!  One of our friends even referred to her as "the bride of Chucky" but I think all those little imperfections make kind of so special.  Dad said he worked so hard trying to get all the ink and everything off her but it wouldn't come off, and I'm so glad because kind of is Rory's style of baby doll!

I was worried Rory may not like the baby as much as Shan would like her too because she doesn't have any!  Of course Rory surprised me and loved her so much.  Kind if was greeted out of the box with kisses and hugs.  

Rory did not want to sleep at all that night- she just gets so excited when people come over and we think she feels as if she's going to miss out in things!  I was rocking her in her room and thought shed be fine if I just put her in her crib and let her fuss for a few minutes.  So I let her go and watched her scream and fuss in the monitor.  Minutes later I could hear her sounding funny and got that crazy mother feeling!  I ran into her room and picked her up out of her crib as she vomited a poltergeist all over me.  

It was the most terrible feeling knowing that a few minutes ago I had her in my arms and she was fine, but because I wanted to put her to bed and spend more time with my family I selfishly put her in her crib and she screamed so much she puked.  Good one, the mother of the year award goes to me!  

I am also one of the biggest sissy's when it comes to vomit.  Just the smell gets the chunks rising in my own throat and even thinking about someone vomiting is currently making my stomach turn.  I now had vomit all over my clothes, in my bra, in my hair, on my face, and pretty much any other place one could dream up.  I was on the verge of passing out because of the horrid smell but I thought of poor Rory, completely overwhelmed by all the company coming into her life, the excitement it must be to see her Aunt Lauren, Mimi and papa all at once, and how she just wants to spend time with them to.  I felt like this was not only my fault because I had put her in the crib but also because I was the one hyping everyone up with this big birthday celebration for Rory.  Jon said it himself that he was looking forward to the party to be over because of all the time, effort and money I was putting into it.  I was so excited to celebrate her first birthday that i didn't even think about how it was going to effect her; having all of her friends in the house at the same time, pigeons all over the wall, her family coming in from St. Louis, the cake, the balloons everything all at once. it had to be overwhelming for a one year old because it was quite overwhelming on me!  

She really didn't want to be out of my arms and I wasn't ready to let her go just yet, I decided to be that lady who bathes with her kids without a swimsuit.  it was the only way to get all the vomit off of her and hopefully all off of me too.  She wanted to be held tight so I was holding her and her head was on my shoulder while i poured water all on her to remove the putrid scent and chunks of vomit.  It was sweet and disgusting.  After a few minutes she decided she no longer wanted mommy and began to play in the bath normal Rory style.  She must be feeling better.  I scrubbed the front of me off as best as i could and tried to get out of the tub so I could shower off in my tub.  Rory wanted no part in this, she still wanted me to be close to her.  I got most of the vomit off except the little bit in my hair that i could smell every time i breathed in.  

My poor little bug was now exhausted.  Mom, Dad and Lauren decided to go for a walk and remove themselves from the Nauss house of chaos for a bit.  Jon and I did our normal "twinkle twinkle little star" serenades and now my girl was exhausted and went down for sleep perfectly.
i felt terrible about everything and was considering canceling the party.  I also still had vomit in my hair.

my family came back from their walk and helped talk me out of my guilt of putting her in her crib too early and reassured me that I could cancel the party if I wanted to but it may not be a good idea.  I just didn't want Rory to get too overwhelmed with everything, I was so scared and so unsure of what to do.  I had spent so much time on her decorations, Lord knows I couldn't pick a theme where I could just buy all the decorations, I had to make them all myself.  Everything I had to do myself to make it more special for Rory.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed every second of it, I love doing crafty projects like this, and I felt like this party had to be completely perfect for my perfect little angel to celebrate the most perfect year of her life.  But now I was willing to throw all the pigeons away just because I was worried my special girl may get too excited with everything and have another vomiting episode.  

what to do....I decided to sleep on it....

but believe it or not...I could hardly sleep, I kept thinking about everything and what I should do about the party.  I thought about cupcake frosting melting and pigeons having the wrong color of beaks, and all sorts of other stupid things one thinks about at night.

The party day was finally here and I woke up feeling terrible- perhaps it was all the excitement or be fact that I still has vomit in my hair but I really felt terrible.  Rory on the other hand was geared up to go.  We gave out the special t-shirts to jon and my mom and dad.  That was good for about 30 seconds until the transfers all fell off.  I was livid.  Mom dad and jon took rory to the little gym so lauren and I could clean up and do last minuet prep.  While cleaning I made more messes by breaking a lightbulb and breaking a wine glass.  It was great!  When they came home I put rory to bed and decorated and finally showered myself.  

For a few months now all I could think about was Rorys face when she woke up from her nap!  I'd take her out of her room and she could see all the pigeons and signs and balloons and I longed to see that smile on her face!  I couldn't wait to get her up!  

She woke up and was just as excited as I had hoped!  She was a bit taken back but excited none the less.  We ate a banana and waited for our guests.

The party came and rory did so well!  She was in control of he party- showing all of her friends her toys and her house!  She was just walked around smiling and happy!  

I couldn't wait for The cake either!  I spent so much time making different cakes and the peanut butter banana was due to be a hit.  It looked disgusting after it had been in the fridge- the frosting was brownish becaus of the banana and it all looked pukey.  Rory was such a pretty girl and just took little picks of her cake- she never wanted to smash her face in it but just take a small pick out of the pigeons eye.  Shes so sweet too, she fed both me and dada.  It was wonderful.

She then got little fussy- so we took her outside.  We didn't end up doing presents because I didn't want to overwhelm her.  I was waiting foe her to go down for a nap because she looked so tired.

Everyone went home

Party was over

And rory got a second wind- dove into all her presents and didn't nap a bit.

I was so lucky to have my sister and mom and dad here!  It was the best birthday weekend ever!

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